This was supposed to be a post about me finally catching a Columbia River king salmon but this makes four years of consecutive futility (on guided trips no less). Luckily for me, the sockeye were also around in serious numbers and more than 150,000 escaped over Wells Dam. Everyone in the boat got to take home two sockeye and everyone else also headed home with king salmon. I would share a protein picture but its just too embarrassing to share a fishy picture as these kings probably eat a sockeye or two for a light snack. So that was the first day, no fuss, no drama. The second day would see the return of the Red Rocket and the only person silly enough to paddle themselves up to the Wells Dam (this fact was confirmed by the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife fish counter who was very surprised to see me when I eventually made it back to the boat ramp).
However, next time the Red Rocket is getting dragged through the sage brush because I am not in good enough shape for padding against real currents. There was no time to check my pace but that last couple hundred yards before reaching the big eddies on either side of the dam felt like I was on a rowing machine and I had about the same forward progress to show for it. That much exercise before sunrise had my whole body threatening revolt but I could not give those relaxed, 150 hp bastards in their aluminum cans the satisfaction of seeing some early morning chumming...
Once at the dam things were very peaceful and I deployed the gear for kings. The plan was to probably fail at king fishing for a few hours and then grab a couple sockeye before heading back. This year I was trying Brad's herring plugs which let you stuff some canned tuna into the body. I didn't have the right colors to match the guide's success from the day before but there were still enough drive-by swipes to keep it interesting.
Unfortunately nothing stuck and it was time to deploy the sockeye gear (sans bait because it was in the fridge at home as newborns instantly deactivate critical neuron pathways). Sockeye continued to bounce off the hooks and jump all around the fishing fleet but everyone was looking pretty glum. We collectively got even more depressed when my guide showed up and immediately started catching multiple sockeye each pass. Having confirmed it was just my inadequacies that were responsible for the empty cooler, it was time to head for shore.
The second photo above is included as Exhibit A in this cautionary tale. Always, always get your paddle out of the water or strapped to the kayak. I did not do that and instead went to take pictures of some swallow condominiums.
Pretty awesome place to be taking pictures and watching the aerobatics. Almost, but not quite worth feeling my stomach hit my ankles when I got back to the kayak and couldn't find my paddle. It was a weird time to be pondering if I was on the wrong side of the 4th or 5th largest river by average discharge flow but the brain does what it wants. Luckily the feet were already moving me downstream and I caught up with it about 100 yards downstream. The float back was relaxing and the crystal clear water revealed hundreds of trout and some impressive smallmouth bass which might need to feature in their own blog post next year.
**This post has been sponsored by the Muterspaughs. If you would like to sponsor a post, feel free to send cash or check to my house. If you do not know the location of my house, that's fine but I'm revoking your superfan sticker. **